Today was a great day! We went back to the Dog Park! That was awesome. The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. I had my ball… Perfect. I wasn’t sure we were ever going anywhere fun again after last night. I thought I would be in lockdown until I was old and gray.
Hang On. I’m getting ahead of myself. You don’t know what happened.
Well, just before bed last night, mom went down into the basement to swap out the laundry and found that a phantom whizzer had left his mark on the carpet downstairs. Mom immediately suspected that it was ME! Now, I’m not trying to shift blame or accuse my sister, but there are two dogs in this house. And there’s still that clueless dude running around. He’s pretty clumsy, but he clammed up as usual. Maybe it was him. Of course, Micky has been here a while and never had any accidents so she gets the benefit of the doubt. So, being the new guy, I’m instantly the prime suspect. Uh Oh!
Turns out I didn’t really get in trouble. Nobody yelled at me or made me feel bad about it. She just cleaned it up with her Green Machine and we headed to bed. What I didn’t know last night was some sort of trial was held and I was found guilty. (My lawyer must suck!) My punishment? More time on house arrest. From the time I get up until I go to bed, I’m stuck on my leash. I have exactly 6 feet of freedom inside the house. Wherever mom goes, I go. Today, I was forced to endure something called “crafting.” The boys were griping about this crafting stuff the other day and now I know why.
“Dillon, isn’t this nice?
Dillon, do you like this design?
Dillon, should I make this a pillow or a wall hanging?”
OMG, I couldn’t get any sleep at all. I thought cruel and unusual punishment was unconstitutional! Even my sister Micky got up and left after a while and she’s a girl! I guess this is why they say don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.
I almost forgot! Before I was framed as the phantom whizzer last night, dad and I were out in the backyard playing chase. At least I was playing chase. I think he wanted to get my ball so he could throw it.
Not gonna happen pal! It’s my ball and I’m way too fast.
Playing chase in the backyard is fun. There is a big open yard where you really pick up speed and then there are two terraces where mom’s flower garden used to be. (Let’s not get into why mom’s flower garden is past tense.) All of this space makes for a great race track where I can really move! Dad had zero chance of catching me.
At one point, he chased me down the hill and started to slide. Flip flops on wet grass don’t work so well. Once he started to slide, it was all downhill from there! (Yeah yeah, joke, I get it.) I laughed so hard I dropped my ball, which then rolled down the hill into the bushes. Damn! Oh well, I found it! He’s a nice guy. I’ll reserve final judgment for a few more weeks to see if he stuffs me into the tub, but for now, he’s cool!
Did I tell you about this treasure chest I have in the house? Mom calls it the toy basket. I call it the Mother Lode! There’s stuffed animals, rope toys, things mom’s friend made, Stinky cow’s hooves, and BALLS! Lots and lots of Balls! Where did it come from? Did they follow a rainbow and find it at the end? Was it hidden pirate treasure? I don’t know, but I don’t care! I love it and they’re all mine! Micky doesn’t ever look in there. She’s too busy snoozing. Every time I look in there, I find something new that wasn’t in there before. And just to be sure, I drag out every toy to inspect it.
I think mom and dad are a little jealous though. Every time I get my toys spread out on the floor, they start walking on them. Worse still, they let out this horrible war cry each time they step on one. It’s terrifying. It sounds like “OW! These things are worse than Legos!” Why would they try to crush my toys?!?
Ugh! I’m getting way off course here. We were at the park! Yeah, the park. Today was really sunny and warm so we had to take breaks. Thankfully, there are benches and some trees to sit under and get out of the sun. While I was sitting under a bench a new little dog came in. At first he seemed like fun, but then he started playing rough and trying to pick on me. Mom wasn’t having any of that and asked his mom to get control of him. I guess she didn’t know how because they left. Why would you come to the dog park if you don’t want to have fun and play? Go to school if you want to learn to behave yourself! Whatever, not gonna ruin my trip to the park.
Right after they left gorgeous Gracie came in to strut her stuff. Va Va Voom! Gracie is a 10-month old blond Labradoodle. She was a lot of fun and liked to play. (I know, older woman!) Everything was going great until another pup showed up. I got replaced by a younger model, Houdini, a 7-month old bully-mix. Oh well, I guess that’s how it goes. Mom said Houdini’s mom was cool. She had on Wonder Woman Chuck Taylors!
Speaking of mom, you gotta be quick to get something by her. When we got home from the park, my ball was dirty. Since I know mom likes a tidy house, I decided to wash it. I looked around for a way to get to the sink, and without thumbs how would I turn on the water? My only option was the water bowl. So, I dropped my ball in the bowl, swished it around a bit and was about to snatch it back out when the warden busted me. It should come as no surprise to you that I had several additional charges tacked on too. I guess it’s my fault that there’s water all over the floor. Oh well, I still got my dinner and snacks later on. I guess it’s not total lockdown.
Time to sleep through Rocky Horror Picture Show. Tomorrow’s another day.