Or as I like to call it, Day 2 in lockdown.
Here I am, doing time in the big house for one little accident that they can’t even prove I’m responsible for. The Phantom Whizzer framed me. Besides, it was down in the basement where they never go anyway.
The warden here is tough. This morning, I was minding my own business, playing with my ball and here she comes. For no reason at all, she throws me into solitary. Yep, just left me there for like thirty minutes. She says it’s good for me to learn to sit quietly in my crate. I say it’s just being mean. It’s not like I’m tearing up the joint…
Besides, every other day she’s happy that I’m self-entertaining. At least Dad thinks I’m hilarious! Take tonight for example. While they were eating dinner, I was in the family room playing with my ball. First, I pick it up and carry it over to the ottoman and then set it right next to the edge. Then, I take my foot and flip it across the room, under the ottoman. As soon as I flip it under, I run to the other side to catch it. Everything was going great until I missed and the ball got stuck under there. I tried my best, but couldn’t get it. Thankfully, Dad helped out. I guess the Warden was tired of that little task. The Ottoman game is almost as good as the stair game. I grab my ball and run up to the top of the stairs. Then, I get in position, laying down on the top step. Once I’m in position, I drop my ball and watch it roll down the stairs. When it bounces at the bottom, I run down and snatch it up and run back up to do it again. I can do this for hours. How’s that for self-entertaining?
Speaking of the Warden, this afternoon, I got my federally mandated hour of supervised exercise. She put me on my leash and we walked out front to wander around. While we were out there, my friend Kona came walking down the street with his mom Liz. He’s a big Bully-mix puppy. He’s huge, at least 40 pounds, but a real teddy bear. I don’t know why people think they’re such meanies. Kona is a great guy who just loves to play. I’m not sure his mom thinks he’s so cute while he’s rearranging her shoulder joint when he jerks the leash, but he’s a puppy, he’ll learn.
When we got back inside the Warden must have been feeling sorry for me, so I got to watch some TV, Grey’s Anatomy. Modern Family is my favorite, but that’s only on at night. I think she was trying to lull me into thinking she was going soft on me. About halfway through the show, she brought out the torture devices. I didn’t know what they were, but Micky sure did. She bailed like her little butt was on fire. I should have seen this coming.
The Warden snatched me up and latched onto my foot and started waving these giant pliers in front of my toenails. Dear God, what form of torture was this? The Warden said I was getting my nails trimmed. Said it was good for me to learn to sit quietly while my nails get trimmed. (Are you starting to see a trend here? There’s a lot of stuff at this place that’s supposed to be good for me while I sit quietly. I’m thinking conspiracy.) I showed her though, I didn’t even flinch. I sat there like a pro. You wanna clip my nails? Have at it, Warden Lady! You’re not gonna break me.
Tune in tomorrow to hear more of how I fight back against the man!!