I’m pretty sure I’m offended. Today, Dad took off for the store and I didn’t get to go along. Of course, Micky did. I was all excited when Dad started grabbing his keys and then a leash. I thought we were going on a car ride. They were, I wasn’t. What the heck?
After they left, I sat and moped for a while. I wasn’t even interested in the guys filling in the holes out front. So what? I don’t get to help with that either! This whole Christmas thing is starting to Piss me off. What’s so merry about it?
What’s worse is what happened when they got home. Dad was all sneaky and he wouldn’t let me see. When Mom started asking questions, Dad told Micky not to spill the beans. That’s when he was just mean to me. He said the reason I didn’t get to go was because I can’t keep a secret. What the heck? It’s not my fault. I try, but Mom has that funny, cute voice that I just can’t resist. She asks and I can’t help myself. Besides, Micky would sell Dad out for a Chewy Snack in a heartbeat. How’s he gonna trust her?
So, Micky got to go on a car ride, hang out in the sun, and say hello to people, while I got stuck at home and had no fun at all. Well, that’s not totally true. That nice lady Michelle came by with her daughter to see the new pipes and drop off more stuff I can’t have. Guess what though? Her daughter likes to play ball too! Awesome!
She thinks I’m the cutest. She gave us treats and chucked my ball for me. This is my kind of visitor. Anyone who thinks I’m cute and will throw my ball is welcome any time. (Truth is, just about everyone thinks I’m the Sh*t! Cause I am!)
If this is what Christmas is all about, I guess I’m in. Visitors every day, people who want to play with me, this is awesome. Sure, I didn’t get to go on a car ride, but Mom said something about the park later this weekend, so I’m cool. The only thing left is when the fat man with a beard shows up later this weekend. (No, I’m not talking about Dave, he never brings me presents.) I can’t wait to see what Santa brings me. I hope it’s a steak!