Dillon, day 114 of my life in DC!

Dad’s always talking about the good old days when you could do stuff and not worry that someone was gonna catch it on video. Despite some of the obscene photos Mom & Dad post on Facebook, I like having evidence to back up my claims.

Take the other day for instance. I was upstairs with Mom in the Sweatshop, working on a new quilt or something. (I never know what she’s got us making. I’m just labor around here.) Anyway, I was hanging out, keeping my toy balls squared away and here comes Micky!
I figured it was time for a break and Mom didn’t seem to mind that I was slacking off a bit, so I started chewing on Micky. Usually, this leads to her showing me her pearly white teeth, but today was different. I chewed on her legs a bit, then chewed on her neck. After a minute or two, one of my balls wandered off and I needed to collect it, but when I stopped picking on Micky, the strangest thing happened. She followed me and started nudging me. This sorta freaked me out, but I figured if she wanted to play, I’d go along with the game. And the best part? Mom was getting video of the whole thing! (She was probably planning to use it to dock my pay for goofing off until she saw what Micky was doing.) Without that video, none of you would believe what I just told you.
I bet you think that means today was a good day. Well, you’d be mostly right. When Dad got home from work, he started his usual routine of changing and stuff. When he went into the bathroom, I naturally followed him in there… with my ball. I figured he would want to play ball since he hadn’t seen me all day. It’s not like I got up to say goodbye when he left. Are you kidding me? The sun isn’t even up when he leaves. No thank you!
Well, I guess I was wrong. Not only did he not want to play ball, but he closed the door on me. What the hell? I wasn’t having any of that! I immediately tried Micky’s trick of bumping my head against the door to pop it open. It Didn’t Work! I guess my head is too small. Next, I tried sniffing at the door and pawing at it.
Dad didn’t like that at all. He told me to knock it off and then he said “Go away you little jerk.” (He actually called me something much different, but I’m too much of a gentleman to repeat it here.) What kind of gratitude is that? Here I am trying to share my ball and he tells me to go away. How rude!

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Dillon, day 109 of my life in DC!

I love the mailman! I don’t know why they always make it seem like dogs want to bite the mailman. I think he’s awesome. He’s the guy who brings me big boxes of treats.

Today, he brought me a big box from BestBullySticks.com. Awesome! Dad says those guys just take a big pile of spare cow parts and start chucking them in a box for us to munch on! You may find that gross, but I think it is delicious.
This box was different from the ones we’ve had in the past. This time they threw in something called trachea tubes. They look like toilet paper tubes and are about the same size. When Mom gave me one, I snatched it up and ran over to the carpet as usual, but I didn’t immediately start chewing on it. I sniffed at it and then set it down. Then, I ran over to Mom to make sure she really wanted me to eat it. Even when she told me it was okay and that I would like it, I wasn’t too sure. Mom said my big brother Tommy loved them. So, I sniffed it again and gave it a couple nudges to make sure it wasn’t alive or anything. Finally, I took a few tentative bites. Oh My Gosh, it tasted wonderful. Oh, happy day! Once I realized it was food, I did my usual routine of tossing it around and running through the house. I see why Tommy loved them!
It’s a good thing I got some exercise playing with my chewy treat, it was way too windy to go out for a walk. We went out in the backyard to gauge how cold it was, but the wind just wouldn’t quit. Cold or not, I can’t stand wind. It messes up my hair and you know how I like to look good when I patrol the neighborhood. Besides, the wind was keeping everyone else inside, so there was nobody to play with out there anyway. Maybe tomorrow…

Dillon, day 108 of my life in DC!

Hurray, the sun is shining. I don’t know where it has been for the past several days, but it was finally back today. What a beautiful day! 60 degrees and almost no wind. A perfect day for a walk!

When we saw Mom putting on her tennis shoes and yoga pants, we got all excited for our walk. The only problem was that Mom wasn’t taking us for a walk. She was going to Wal-Mart. Bummer!
So, to help things along, we ran straight into our crates. I figure if we hurry her along, she’ll spend less time looking at fabric and get home faster. This idea worked out great! When Mom got home, she didn’t even unload the car. She immediately took us out for our walk. Woo Hoo!
This was a good walk. We went up the street to the park where they have the soccer field and basketball courts. I love going up there. Mom drops my leash so she can throw my ball for me to chase. I get to run as far as I want and scramble around to get my ball. Even when it rolls under the basketball court fence, Mom lets me go get it myself. This place is awesome!
When we got home, the day just got better and better. We got to go out back for a chewy in the sun. It takes me a while for me to chew my treats, but Micky is much quicker. When she finished, she decided a nap in the sun was in order. I, on the other hand, prefer to snooze on the couch. So, when I finished my chewy, I rolled back inside and went straight to the couch. A good day!

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Dillon, day 107 of my life in DC!

Every Morning, Dad gets up and gets ready for work way before any of the rest of us want to get up. He likes to say he’s quiet and doesn’t wake anyone up, but he’s gotta be talking about Mom only. Sleeping Beauty never wakes up when Dad leaves. Micky and I, on the other hand, hear everything, the shower, the stumbling around in the closet, the swearing because he can’t find that “G$* Damned” light chain, all of it.

So this morning, as Dad was getting ready to go downstairs, Micky sat up and shook off like she was going to follow him down. I should have known better. Right after she stretched, she scooted over next to Mom, circled once, and then plopped down as close as she could get to Mom. Micky loves to act like she doesn’t like to snuggle, but if you watch carefully, you’ll see her scooch up next to people all the time. She loves sitting with Dave. (He has lots of padding…) And forget about prying her away from Kathy. Micky LOVES Kathy and if Kathy will carry her around all night, the little bowling ball is as happy as a bug in a rug.
When we did get up thirty minutes later, at a more reasonable time, and after breakfast, Mom decided we were going on a nice long walk. It was very cold out there and the wind was howling, but it felt good to be back out in the hood again with no rain soaking my fur. I love walking around the neighborhood.
Today was going great, right up to the point when we got ditched so mom could go “hunting.” Whatever, I needed a nap anyway. I don’t know where she goes or why we can’t come with her, but she certainly comes back with a full load. Luckily her “kill” included treats for the four-legged family members. It’s about the only thing that makes it worth not throwing a tantrum when she leaves.
That’s about it for today. It was a good day and the only thing that didn’t really work out was our attempt to call Grandpa-Wyoming to tell him Happy Birthday. He was probably out whoopin’ it up somewhere, but I guess that’s okay. You’re supposed to have fun on your birthday. Maybe he was out playing in the horse manure. That would be a great way to spend your birthday!

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Mike Olness
Mike Olness One more of Micky “hiding” from the “Little Monster.”

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Mike Olness
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Dillon, day 106 of my life in DC!

Have you ever started an argument that you were sure you weren’t going to win? Well, I did last night and you’ll never believe it, but I actually got away with it. I was sitting on the floor, minding my own business, chewing on a toy. Although you’re probably guessing that it was one of my bouncy balls, it was actually my little green alligator. When I first got here, Dad brought it home from something called the Modern Day Marine Expo. I couldn’t care less where it came from, gimme my toy!

So, there I was, not bothering anyone. Unfortunately, Mom saw me pop one of the eyes off the alligator. I wasn’t eating it or anything, I just pulled it off and set it on the floor. Mom jumped up to see what I was doing and asked me where the other eye was.
Thankfully, Dad was actually awake and paying attention and came to my rescue. He reminded Mom that I had already popped the other eye out. He also reminded her that it was quite a feat that I managed to pop it out without destroying anything else around it.
I was feeling so good about this turn of events that I looked at Mom and told her “It’s my toy, I can tear it apart if I want to!” That was when I got “The Look!” Y’all, I thought I was gonna die!
And then the weirdest thing happened. She stopped and replied “You’re right, it is your toy. We have lots of toys and if you want to chew one up, have at it.” She just turned around and sat back down and I got to keep my toy. SO WEIRD! I was so stunned that I stopped chewing on my alligator and hopped up on the couch. Do you think she was using reverse psychology?

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Dillon, day 103 of my life in DC!

Do we have to cover this again? All the toy balls in the house are mine! I don’t care if I’m already playing with another one, that does not mean the other two are up for grabs. I might be okay with her chewing on my Teddy Bears, but the balls are mine.
Micky just doesn’t seem to get that. Today, I had my balls laid out on the rug and was happily chewing on the blue one when Micky decided she wanted to play with the orange one. Really, the orange one? That’s my absolute favorite.
Now, you might be thinking I would throw a hissy fit, but you’d be wrong. When Micky is playing with one of my balls, I just stand over her, staring at her. Unfortunately, it seems to have no effect. She just ignores me. She goes right about her business, chewing on my ball.
And it’s not like she does it right either. She chews on it like she’s trying to break it open. There’s nothing in there, trust me! I have chewed on them a thousand different ways and I’ve never been able to get them to open up. I wish there was something in them. That would be awesome, but no luck.
Eventually, Micky gets bored or decides that there is nothing in there and wanders off. As soon as she does, I snatch the ball up and put it with the others. MY mouth is too small to hold more than one at a time, but I try. Dad thinks if I calmed down and worked on it, I might be able to figure out a way to carry two. I’m not too sure about this, but I certainly plan to try. I have to do something to keep them away from Micky.

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Dillon, day 102 of my life in DC!

The Poo Dance. Okay, so this might be a weird topic to talk about, but I’m sure I’m not the only one in the world who does this. Have you ever poo’ed and just felt so good that you had to dance? Well, I do! I don’t know what it is, but when we walk around the neighborhood at night and I do my thing, I get so happy afterward that I just have to dance.
Now, this dance may not look like your kind of dance, but the feeling is the same. I jump around and chew on Micky’s legs, trying to get her stirred up, but it usually doesn’t work too well. She just sort of hangs her head as if to say “hasn’t my life been hard enough without this little monster harassing me?”
Nope, it hasn’t! Besides, I’m not trying to harass her. I’m trying to get her excited. I want her to play and know the joy I get from just being a goof.
When my dancing doesn’t do the trick, I have to take more … extreme measures. I back up a little bit and growl and bark at her while continuing to dance around. It’s usually at this point that Micky hauls ass back to the house, with me at her side the whole way.
I wonder if anyone else in the world feels this way after a good poo.

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Dillon, day 101 of my life in DC!

One hundred and one days. Wow, that’s a long time. I’m glad that it’s days and not dogs. The only other thing I know of that has 101 of ’em is that movie about those little mongrel Dalmatians. Good Lord. I know I’m a black and white dog and I should have some empathy for them, but that’s just WAY too many of them. I mean, how’s a pup going to get any ME time with its people? I can’t imagine how hard it would be to find a place on the couch, much less get to cuddle up with any people. Nope, not for me. I’m good with just a couple of us running around. I like the situation I have here, two dogs, two people, two couches, perfect.
Today, being the 101st day, I was hoping for something exciting to say, but it was a pretty normal, plain ol’ day. I got up and did my usual routine. A great day! When you’re happy just to be alive, every day is great, but that doesn’t mean it should be on the front pages of the newspaper either. So, I’m going to call it a day and go chew on my hoof. Have a good night.
[Editor’s note:]
Since Dillon found his little orange ball, he has really been happy to go outside and chase it. Although the ground is muddy out there, he doesn’t even need to go past the lower patio. He runs outside and drops his ball on the top stair before running to the bottom to wait for it to bounce down to him. He does this many times and all on his own. He’s learned to drop it just close enough that it rolls off the edge, so the game continues. True, he likes it when you stand there with him, but he doesn’t need human intervention. Every person who meets Dillon cannot help but be happy when he’s around. How anyone could let him wind up in a shelter is beyond us. Their loss is our gain though. We have two happy little rescue dogs who now have wonderful little lives.

Dillon, day 100 of my life in DC!

Jack & Tommy, Jack & Tommy… Good Lord. Will she ever stop using those two as the example Micky & I need to follow? Every time either one of us does something “bad,” here come Jack & Tommy to rub our little noses in it.
When Mom goes to get us a snack, Micky & I try to show our appreciation. Sometimes this means we jump up and down and other times there might be a little whining involved. Mick’s favorite trick is the jump and bounce. This is where she jumps up and pushes off Mom with her front feet. Ooh, this really gets Mom going. Plus, it means we both get a lecture about guess who and we have to wait a while for our snacks. I could punch Micky when she does that. So close to the treats and then she throws on the brakes. We try to behave, we really do, but it’s tough.
I keep telling myself that I won’t be tamed, I won’t join her little Hitler Youth club, but she’s good. She’s very good and oh so subtle. Take my meals for instance. When Mom sets my food on my mat, she quickly pulls my bowl up if I don’t sit politely. This became such a habit that I don’t even think about moving until I hear the word “Okay.”
It’s the little crap like this that is slowly bending me to her will. No matter how I try to resist, I find myself doing what she wants. Did you know there’s a specific word that makes you need to go to the bathroom? I didn’t, but I do now. I can’t help myself. Whenever we go outside and either Mom or Dad says the word, I automatically look for a place to pee. What the heck!?!
Speaking of looking for a place to pee, I’m not loving this rain. I mean seriously, I’m dressed in fur. Do you know how long it takes that stuff to dry off? So, if I’m going to have to wander around in the rain, I’m going to make Mom “enjoy” it a little too. I made mom get all dressed up in her rain boots, Dad’s rain jacket, and an umbrella to go on my morning “poop walk.” She was not really excited about all this.
When we came back, there was a strange man waiting to see us. Mom said he was a chimney sweep, whatever that is. Mom seemed happy to see him, but I wasn’t so sure. I wanted to eat him and Micky looked like she was thinking the same thing. Then again, Micky is always ready to eat. I guess I’m glad we didn’t. Turns out the dude was here to, well, clean the chimney. Now, we can have a nice cozy fire in the fireplace. Cool! I hope we have one tonight. I’m a little chilly.

Dillon, day 99 of my life in DC!

My Favoritest Ball In The Whole World Is BACK!
We finally found my Orange ball. OMG. It’s like having a brand new toy! I haven’t seen it in so long.
I sat with it in my mouth all morning! I wasn’t letting it go anywhere! I can’t tell you how happy I am. If you recall from the other night, I may or may not have a couple of OCD tendencies. (Just a few.) Well, losing something does not go over well with an obsessive compulsive dog. Even though Mom got me a pretty new blue ball, it just wasn’t the same.
Over time, I gave up the hunt and then, so did they. Dad was the one who kept it up the longest. He searched the house, the cars, all the coat pockets, and even the big piles of leaves out back. Just goes to show you, men don’t know how to look for anything. Worthless! Well, he did find my orange and blue striped ball that was out in the leaves, but c’mon, he knew it was there somewhere. He just needed to be persistent.
So, back to my orange ball. This morning, Mom was getting Micky and me a chewy treat from the cupboard and for some reason decided to kneel down while she was picking it out of the tub. (Yeah, I know. There’s a whole tub of ’em. Love IT!) For some reason, she looked in the back of the cupboard and spotted my ball. It had been there the whole time! Who knew?
I was so ecstatic over this discovery that I couldn’t focus. Mom had already given me a chewy snack, and then she showed me my ball! OMG, what to do? What to do? At first I dropped my treat to grab my ball, but then I had to grab my treat again. I went back and forth several times before I finally settled on a compromise; I ate my chewy while I rested my chin on my ball. Problem Solved!
I plan to keep a better eye on my toys from now on. Mom is always bugging me about dragging all my toys out and spreading them around on the rug. Well, now she knows why I do it. The best way to keep track of your stuff is to keep an accurate inventory and know just when something goes missing. See, just a little OCD…

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